Tag Archive: relationship


DJ Martin (SingleFocus Ministry®)

CAR WASH by D.J. Martin

After early Sunday morning worship services, I often pass by a car wash full of people. During a Sunday afternoon conversation, I thought I had an audience of agreeable ‘mature’ Christians with whom I could express my dismay. However, one of the ministers gently challenged me. Admittedly, I couldn’t justify my rebuke of that practice. I had no religious or biblical premise to validate my complaint. I deemed it sacrilegious. In my unwritten book of rules, washing cars was something you didn’t do on Sunday. Nevertheless, after listening to the minister, I became aware of my religious and judgmental attitude. It was offensive to me, but I couldn’t biblically argue that it was offensive to God.

I realized that my perspective was limited and shaped by my own personal beliefs and traditions. This experience taught me the importance of humility and open-mindedness when it comes to understanding and interpreting religious practices. It challenged me to reevaluate the basis of my convictions and to approach differences in religious observance with empathy and understanding. Ultimately, it encouraged me to engage in meaningful dialogue with others, even when our perspectives may initially seem at odds. This encounter served as a powerful reminder of the complexities of human interpretation and the need for compassion in navigating theological differences.

I remember, one Sunday morning my brother was singing a secular song and I responded, “This is the Sabbath, keep it holy.”  Much like a hypocritical Pharisee (Luke 13:15), I had a ridiculous, unwritten list of things people should never do on a Sunday: don’t iron, wash cars, sing or listen to secular songs…

With all the commandments that the Pharisees observed, keeping the Sabbath was the one charge (John 5:16) they relentless made against Jesus. Oh my, they were so outraged when His disciples took corn from the stalk to eat on the Sabbath (Luke 6:1-2)! Observing the Sabbath became their measuring rod and premise of justification for accepting or denying the legitimacy of Jesus Christ.

On one Sabbath, Jesus went to the synagogue when a man with a withered hand was there. The Pharisees, intending to accuse Jesus, asked Him if it was lawful to heal on the Sabbath (Matthew 12:10). Jesus’ reply posed a better question, “Is it lawful to ‘do good’ on the Sabbath (Mark 3:4)?” Then He commanded the man to stretch out his hand, and when he did, his withered hand was whole. I imagine they couldn’t charge Jesus with working on the Sabbath, because they couldn’t prove whether He healed the man or if God in heaven did.

Jesus, full of compassion (Matthew 14:14), often healed and performed miracles on the Sabbath. I’m sure that, to the people, any day was a good day to receive healing.

Since His resurrection, most Christians celebrate Sunday as their Sabbath. Jesus set the captives free and broke chains with His death, burial, and resurrection. He got up with all power in His hand and set us free from rules and bondage (Galatians 4:4-5, Isaiah 61:1). Therefore, we are free to worship and free to revere our relationship with the Father more than observing a day. However, like the religious Jews, some denominations, pastors, and elders have adopted a set of rules and regulations to place next to the Bible. They bemoan cults, but the only difference between them and cults is that cults are strict enforcers, overtly controlling enslavers, and disproportionately worshipers of religious rules and regulations more than worshippers of God.

Paul scolded the religious Jews because they were insisting that the Gentiles observe Jewish rules or traditions that require circumcision and avoidance of certain foods. Paul explained to them that it was heartfelt faith in Christ not traditions and laws that was the determination of their relationship in the family of God (Galatians 4 & 5).

The Pharisees also judged the disciples by the washing of hands. How about you? Do you or your church have a rule or measuring rod by which you justify one’s piety or Christianity? Do they measure up to your religious standards? Is it how they comb their hair, the way they dress; such as wearing jeans while preaching on a Sunday morning, tattoos on their body, or a man wearing earrings? Is it what they eat or who they dine with? Is it their non-religious interpretation of the Word or their non-religious speech? Is it that they prophesy, heal, or speak in tongues during Sunday Morning service? Here’s one; is it that they are naked hanging on the cross, next to Jesus, publicly confessing their sins and welcomed by Jesus into His kingdom?

It’s not by outward appearance, but by the heart that God judges.

Which ingratiates you to God: wearing a white suit, pure white ankle length dresses, white head covering, and lily-white gloves on a Sunday or a clean heart? Admittedly, I have looked at people and what they do or wear, on a Sunday, which I wouldn’t do or wear, and questioned their thinking but never their relationship with God. How could I? Only God can see their heart.

Hmm. Wonder what God will reward more for; religiously obeying denominational rules on Sunday or faithfully pursuing a relationship with Him daily?

And He said unto them, “The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath…” Mark 2:27

That’s Today’s Single Focus

DJ Martin (SingleFocus Ministry®)

I would venture to answer, “Impossible!” It is impossible for any creation of God to have no purpose! Unfortunately it is possible to not be operating in that purpose. Admittedly, there are men who misconceive or limit their purpose and neither do they pursue that purpose. They tend to think that going to work everyday is the totality of their purpose to the point of becoming a workaholic. There are many reasons for this mindset. One may be that they don’t spend time with Christian men in church or informally at lunch or dinner. With all these books on knowing your purpose, you would think that it would be impossible that any human being would lack the knowledge of their purpose. Is your husband a Christian? Well, let’s assume he is. Because irregardless, many men define their purpose according to what the world dictates. They get a sermon during the commercial when they watch Sports on TV; they get a sermon during lunch talks at the job; and their boss gives them a sermon. By the time they get home to you, their wife, they express negatively what they think their purpose is. They think that their purpose is to go to work, come home and read the newspaper or watch TV. They might express that their purpose is to eat the dinner you have hot and ready when they get home from work; or to support their hobby with their overtime money! They might behave as if they think their purpose is to dictate to you what your purpose is relative to making them happy. They may express that your purpose is to be under their authority. You would assist him in his purpose, but once a car is parked, there really isn’t a need for assistance to a parked car (I wonder if this is one of those irreconcilable differences that they put on divorce papers)… But then there are the husbands that go to church and have lunch with men of God and they think the same way as afore-mentioned. They may never mention the word ‘purpose’. You love him, but his lack or misunderstanding of purpose is making your marriage like a ship on a stormy sea. Because you spend time in Bible study with women of God, you believe that you know your purpose. You have a dream, but your spouse does not or if he does, he hasn’t expressed it nor is he working on it.

Well, we have to work in order to eat, especially the man of the house with a family to take care of. After all God did put Adam to work, immediately. Of course after their sin, work would become a burden (Genesis 3:19). As we clearly see, work has become burdensome in more ways than one. It can become a resource or weapon in the cunning hands of the adversary (1 Peter 5:8). Your husband has a job, yet you say he has no purpose. We all must understand that purpose is given by the Ultimate Authority, which is the True and Living God. Is he interested in knowing his purpose, which is beyond going to work everyday? If he is, then he should be asking the Ultimate Authority. You have to seek wisdom from God. Whatever you do, you don’t want to get worldly advice on what his purpose is. Your girlfriends don’t live with him or you, so they don’t know. You don’t want to make the mistake that Eve did (Genesis 3:4); taking the advice of a snake. Because, then not only your husband, but you also will be living out of the purpose and will of God.

Let me ask you, “Do you really know your purpose?” Do you really understand purpose? Does your spouse understand purpose? Every human being is a product and is created to be a conduit of one purpose and that’s God’s good pleasure. It could be that you and your spouse have mistaken ‘purpose’ for ‘ambition’. Your question may really be, “suppose my husband has no dream?”, because, we all have the same purpose. Perhaps you have a passion for using your gift to accomplish that purpose and your husband shows no passion or signs of using any kind of gift to reach that God-given purpose. So let’s identify purpose and you will see that your husband does indeed have purpose, but we must pray and encourage him to use his gift to carry out that purpose. Look at Genesis 1:26. God said, “Let us make man in our image.” Then He gave them purpose in Genesis 1:28;“Be fruitful and multiply.” God charged mankind to multiply His physical image throughout the world. In Genesis 2:24 He designed the way this purpose would be accomplished; “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Growing the population was ordained to be done in the context of marriage. Multiplying the image of God or growing the population is the purpose God gave to man. The world leaders and politicians need to make note of that as they spread this demonic doctrine (1 Timothy 4:1) of abortion on demand and complaints about world population growth. They are very much on the wrong side of God’s purpose and will. Look at creation. God said, “Let there be” and vegetation, seas, stars, animals, etc suddenly appeared and was in existence at His word. However, with His hands, He personally shaped Adam and then this Great and Powerful God, bent down and breathed into his nostrils and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7). God is not only physical (John 1:14), but He is also Spirit. Our purpose, your spouse and your purpose is to be fruitful and multiply the image of God, both physically*through marriage and spiritually through the word of your testimony. Multiplying His physical image is easy; it’s the spiritual image that is tricky. This is where ‘passionately using the gifts’ comes in. Conclusively, your spouse has purpose, he just doesn’t exhibit the ‘passionately use of gifts’ in order to accomplish that purpose. Are you passionately using your gift to carry out that purpose?

It may boil down to the fact that neither of you see the true purpose. Your purpose is not to open a Bookstore or cut a Gospel CD. This is just the method by which you are to accomplish your purpose. Agreeably your husband can’t achieve the purpose by watching TV or be worldly logical by trying to stop you from pursuing your God-given passion. If you both clearly understood purpose, then you both would pursue everyday life with passion. Actually going to the job everyday would become a mission. Going to the job everyday would become a spiritual passion. Not to just get paid, but to touch lives so that the spiritual image of God would be multiplied. The struggle is getting your spouse to comprehend that. This will necessitate much prayer.

Your life, his life, all our lives is about the Glory of God. How can you know your gift and use your gifts? How can you develop a passion to grow the kingdom? The first thing God did after establishing their purpose was to develop a relationship with Adam and Eve. Apparently God customarily walked with them in the cool of the day. This is where developing a passion, being gifted and given a dream starts; with a relationship with God. I’m not talking about a simple believe in your heart and confessing with your mouth, “Sunday go meeting” faith. I’m talking about being full of the spirit, consistently walking with, talking with God, and ‘feeling His embrace’ kind of relationship (John 3:7). The kind of personal relationship that discerns His righteousness, hates what He hates, and passionately seeks His glory and will! Just think about the conversations God and Adam had in their walks through the garden. Not only did God give Adam direction but He spent time with him. Adam spent time in His presence.

I guarantee that as soon as that personal relationship develops you will clearly understand purpose and God will reveal to you how to use your gift to achieve the purpose (Ephesians 4:1-12). He will give you a dream and a passionate pursuit of that dream by using your gift for the Glory of God (Matthew 4:19)! You will then discover that ‘Purpose’ is more than a pursuit. It is a walk; a lifestyle; the air we breathe.

No creation is without purpose. True purpose is the product of a personal relationship with the True and Living God.

I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, (Ephesians 4:1(KJV)

That’s Today’s SingleFocus…

A Book that might be helpful is: ‘The Kingdom Agenda’ by Dr. Tony Evans
'What A way To Live'

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